what if i just stopped talking to everyeon
would they even care
or ask where I’ve been if i stop trying to hang out
i should just go back to trying to be ignored. its easer
i can focus more on school and not friends. and sure ill have more panic attacks, but i won’t waste time trying to be social or care about people
i mean, I’ve liked the same person for a year and they barely even notice me. they like and date other people bc I’m too dumb to tell them how i feel. they’re too good for me anyway, even though they don’t think so. they are handsome and cute and sweet and smart and i can’t do anything or look pretty or be funny I’m so useless so i should just give up
I’m so tired of everything
but i still have so much to do. i think I’m just not gonna sleep tonight
and ill probably go to the counsellor again tomorrow just to get out of class. bc fuck school i can’t even stand anything anymore
I’ve started just not wearing seatbelts bc I honestly just don’t care. I want to stop eating, but I can’t even manage to do that. Maybe I’ll try to stop tomorrow. Who knows. I’ll probably just end up failing again bc I get bored or someone offers me smthn and I don’t want to be rude
Even now I should just shut up and do my Apush that I keep complaining about now doing. But instead I sit here and cry and consider just never getting out of bed again. Never even waking up tomorrow bc fuck life.
But I can’t bc I’m literally worthless and can’t do anything ever so why do I try
Ppl keep telling me school isn’t as important as my mental health, but I still know that I’m being lazy, even if it is bc of depression or anxiety or dissociation or w e the fikc I have I don’t even care. I should he able to sit down fr an hour and so my ficking homework.
I have to do my Apush but all I want to do is curl up in my room and cry for hours
I wan t to die so bad I can’t even focus on the words in from of me anymore
I’m so sick of everything
Why do I even keep trying.